What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
