yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
