I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
