Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
