the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
