Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my poor anus
You are the jesus of drinking
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
