So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
