apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
