He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
