32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
