I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
