What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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