is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
