O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
