You work out of a Hotel?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
