We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
