i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
