In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
