1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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