Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
