Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
