The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
