We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
