she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
