i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
