i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
