I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
