I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
