When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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