Plan B is the new Plan A
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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