you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
