I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
