(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
