There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your cock deserves a montage
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
