Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
