Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
