I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
