Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
