I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
