If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
as a side note pls kill me
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