is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
