i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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