How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
