how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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