I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
