You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
