its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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