We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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