...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
