he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
