I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
