I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
