My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
