Sry I called you an 8
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
